Hi ho! Hi ho!

One year ago, her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II died. One day ago, my friend H asked me to write a blog about Britain’s disappearing, or disappeared, work ethic.

The late Queen’s work ethic was unparalleled. She never retired. She studied her briefs. She was an example to everyone. The Daily Mail marked the anniversary of her death with accounts of the day, as told by senior guardsmen at the heart of the preparations for her funeral.

One priority was to recall essential troops. Many of them were on summer leave. At least one was on honeymoon. They obeyed orders.

A brigadier was at his daughter’s wedding in Corfu. During his speech at the reception, he received a text message commanding him to immediately return to the UK. He did.

A garrison Sergeant Major worked at his desk until 2am overseeing preparations.

The Sergeant Major’s fiancée volunteered to babysit the children of an orderly, who was a single parent. 

Over the weekend, saddlers and tailors worked flat out to fit uniforms, wax jackboots and polish spurs.

The Archers’ commander was impeded by the requirement to carry his sword in his left hand and also remove and replace his headdress to lead the Three Cheers for His Majesty King Charles III. But he had lost three fingers in a gardening accident earlier that year (the Commander, not Charlie). A stuffed glove, built specially, allowed him to carry out his duties.

Compare and contrast this dedication to duty, working all hours to get the job done, with Dominic Raab who lounged in the sun while Afghanistan fell, or Gillian Keegan who did the same while our schools crumbled. Hardly surprising, therefore, that far too many lackadaisical civil servants, who are no longer civil nor serve, also ‘work’ from home. Except, we know that they don’t work: for example, HMRC failed to answer millions of telephone calls last year, potentially consigning anxious, confused, desperate taxpayers, including small businesses, to over-payments or fines. 

South Cambridgeshire District Council employees now work a four-day week yet get paid for five. A recent independent report of the scheme’s effectiveness was ‘tweaked’ by the council and it looked as if the taxpayer was getting value for money. Apparently, the council’s Chief Executive is studying for a PhD on the effectiveness of four-day working weeks. You do the maths.

Talking of maths, what about teachers / lecturers who, when they’re not WFH, are striking or refusing to mark exams. My parents were teachers. They worked very hard. Including all through the summer. Most of them did back then. Only some do now.

Farmers are desperately short of seasonal fruit/pickers. There are millions of unemployed in this country. Fruit/veg picking is hard work. More maths for you to do.

One reason that Iranian spy recently escaped from Wandsworth jail is because of chronic staff shortages. Read my lips. There are millions of unemployed in this country. If the Government spent less on Mickey Mouse degree courses, Donald Duck universities, and being Stonewall Champions, there’d be more money for prison officers. Maths, People. Maths.

According to the Office for National Statistics, the percentage of working hours lost because of sickness or injury rose to 2.6% in 2022, an increase of 0.4 percentage points from 2021 and the highest it has been since 2004, when it was 2.7%. An estimated 185.6 million working days were lost because of sickness or injury in 2022; this level was a record high. The most common reason for sickness absence was minor illnesses, accounting for 29.3% of occurrences. MINOR illnesses. I’ve dragged myself into work with migraines, stinking colds, debilitating back pain and anxiety bordering on panic attacks. Man up, People; that includes the girlies!

And can I ask a question? All these eco-nuts preventing emergency services from answering calls, parents getting kids to school, sick people getting to hospital, the unemployed getting to job interviews: do the nutters have jobs? I suppose they’re claiming they’re saving the planet. No they’re not. If they bothered to do some work in the form of research, they’d learn that we still need oil, still need coking coal, and the last thing the world needs is their stupidity.

Yet employees who no longer deliver, who ignore calls to return to the office, never seem to be sacked. Whereas dedicated employees who do work hard can be kicked into touch for unintentionally not adhering to the woke agenda. Here’s just one example. During a woke ‘anti-racism’ training session, a hitherto faultless Lloyds Bank employee used the ‘N’ word in a perfectly reasonable context. The outside-facilitator had a cow and said she was so traumatised she had to take five days off work. FIVE DAYS! Lloyds Bank sacked their employee, but judges at an employment tribunal ruled that the firing was unfair and he’s to be compensated. The facilitator will probably claim to be so traumatised by the ruling, she’ll bag another five-days’ p-ss-take.

Some who still work hard are financially crippled trying to do so. Khan’s war on window cleaners, delivery drivers, carers, etc. in the form of his punitive Ultra Low Emissions Zone is a travesty that punishes the lower paid. If Fishy Rishi had a pair, he’d find a way to block it. In his defence, he’d be up against a panel of judges, you know: the profession that tried to stymie the will of We The People over Brexit and who block the deportation of rapists and murderers to the detriment of the wellbeing of We The People. Send in the troops, Rishi, you know: the ones with a strong work ethic and who drop everything and obey orders, for the good of We The People.